Question 1: You’re in a bar with workmates. Do you :
- Go to the bar and order only yourself a drink. Ensuring you also get a glass of water so that you stay hydrated.
- Hope someone else will go up first.
- Get the pints in and then order a round of shots whilst shouting “DOWN IT! DOWN IT!”
Question 2: “Shagger” is a nickname commonly associated with
- A man who’s been in more holes than a mole
- A woman who’s handled more pricks than a cactus seller.
- A virgin.
Question 3: Which of these can you not shove yer grannie aff?
- A train
- A plane
- A bus
Question 4: Why not?
- It’s health and safety gone mad
- She doesn’t bounce
- Cause she’s yer mammie’s mammie
Question 5: What is Scotland’s most famous export?
- Sean Connery
Question 6: The Loch Ness monster is known as
- Ferocious Ness
- Eyewit Ness
- Sporty Ness
Question 8: Wee Willie Winkie is
- An unfortunate medical condition affecting men who drive BMW’s
- what the www stands for in internet domain names
- Someone who ” rins through the toon,Up stairs an’ doon stairs in his nicht-gown,”
Question 9: You are walking down the road when a man approaches and asks what team you support do you
- you say how much you admire the pope
- you say how much you admire the queen
- you say Partick Thistle.
Question 10: A gael is
- A windy day
- A woman
- A country bumpkin from the highlands.
Question 11: is Bute house
- A house made of bute
- A house on the island of bute
- Where Fat minister goes to get his dinner from Mrs Fat Minister
Question 12: What is the national language of Scotland
- English but add the word C*NT to every c*nting sentence!
Question 13: Does aye right mean
- yes correct
- yes to your right.
- “LOOK YOU!!! STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS OR YOU’LL GET A DOING!”
If you answered mostly iii then congratulations you are now a Scottish citizen!